How to cope with rejection

How to cope with rejection

By: Phelicitus

Rejection is the act of pushing someone or something away.  The resulting consequences of rejection can cause very painful emotional distress.  Some of the psychological effects of rejection are trauma, depression, anxiety and stress, pain response and abuse. This post details various types of rejection and how to cope with rejection.

Most humans desire social contact and many people crave acceptance from society, being rejected can incite negative feelings and emotions. Many people isolate themselves or hold back from connecting to others because they’re afraid of being rejected.

Sensitivity to rejection that causes someone to pull away from others can lead to chronic feeling of loneliness and depression. Rejection can be extremely painful. Because it may have the effect of making people feel unwanted, unaccepted and not valued at all.

Types of Rejection

Family rejection – This type of rejection is from one’s own family. This can be in the form of  parental rejection. Which  may consist of  abandonment,  abuse, neglect or withholding of love and affection. This form of rejection is most likely to affect an individual throughout their life. And may have serious consequences if not dealt with in a healthy manner.


This may occur at any age and can often begin in childhood. This may include bullying and alienation in school or workplace. It can also extend to any social group. Those who challenge the status quo or who live with what is considered ‘outside the norm’ for their society may be more prone to social rejection.


People may experience rejection while in a relationship. Such as refusal to share an event, withholding of affection or intimacy. Also treating a partner as if they are a casual acquaintance. Or when an individual decides to end a relationship this can cause the other partner to feel rejected.

Romantic rejection

Also known as sexual rejection. This form of rejection can result in loss of a romantic relationship from the person who is rejected.

All forms of rejection are most likely to cause emotional pain. Especially when the act is done by a trusted loved one. It can also deeply impact one’s self-worth and self confidence.

Rejection destabilizes our need to belong. We all have a fundamental need to belong to a group. When we get rejected our need to belong becomes destabilized and the disconnection we feel adds to our emotional pain.

How to cope with rejection

Therapy can help one overcome wounds caused by rejection. Since rejection sends one on a mission to seek and destroy our self – esteem. Most often we tend to blame ourselves for being rejected. Which only deepens the emotional pain that we feel and makes it harder to recover.
It’s important to identify our pain and work on healing. This will help you reduce your anger and aggression, protect your self esteem and stabilize your need to belong.

Below are some of the things you can do to help you heal from the pain of rejection. Please note that you should always seek professional help if you are struggling. These are only suggestions that you can add to your healing process.


Blaming yourself will only delay your healing process. So you should not blame yourself for the things you did wrong or things that didn’t work out. Start by considering what you can do differently in the future. There is absolutely no good reason to be punitive or self critical. You are not a loser! and don’t take the rejection personally even if it feels so.


Rejection can make you feel less worth and reduce your self self esteem. So it is very important to remind yourself of the things that you have to offer. Think of the things that are valuable about yourself and convince yourself that you still matter. Because you do. This will help boost your self confidence.


Human beings are social animals therefore we need to feel wanted and valued. Rejection destabilizes our need to belong leaving us feeling unsettled and socially untethered. You need to remind yourself that you are appreciated and loved so you can feel more connected and grounded.

Dealing with rejection is never easy. But knowing how to limit the psychological damage it inflicts. And how to rebuild your self esteem when it happens, will help you recover sooner and move on with confidence.

Normally, people reject you when they can’t handle and deal with the person you have become. Do not become a victim even if it was your wrong doing that caused the rejection to happen.

Remember it’s not your fault. Embrace who you are, love you and don’t give people a reason to disrespect you. Change is always inevitable. So if you do change for the better don’t stop and let whoever can’t deal with that walk away. Be strong for you. You can do it.

Disclaimer: Please note that this is not a medical advice. It’s only a suggestion oh how to cope with rejection. Please seek medical advice if you are struggling with any mental health issue.

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Phelicitus is a Social counselors, who love sharing information around mental health awareness. Mental health is something that is still a taboo in many cultures. Through her writtings she hopes to encourage people to seek medical advice and not be ashamed to talk about how they feel.

2 Replies to “How to cope with rejection”

  1. Avatar
    Nkrm says: 25 July, 2020 at 8:46 am

    Rejection is a hard blow to the ego. When I feel rejection hit me harder times than others, I dive deep into why it’s affected me so much. There’s usually a lot of journaling that takes place for several days.

    1. Mercy
      Mercy says: 26 July, 2020 at 8:58 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing, journaling is also a great way of healing. 🙂

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